Looking back

As promised, a blog a day..
Today wasn't a great one in the 'scheme of things'..
This sign sums up my life really..





For those who don't know, I have a mission in life to make people aware of PTSD (Post Trauma Stress Disorder).
The main reason is because 21 years ago it was still under the covers, in the cupboard, or ignored, maybe never even heard of..
And sadly, like most things, it only becomes truly important when it affects a loved one, friend or yourself.

Weirdly enough if it wasn't for PTSD, I would never have started making buttons.. Sadly it's an illness that rocks me and my world on a daily basis.

Today, I copped a few unexpected 'rocks' being flung my way.. ('Triggers' are the medical term for any one who is interested.)

But on the up side, I try my hardest to use humour to pull myself through these sorts of days..





The buttons only came about after I suffered an industrial accident involving my hair. My pony tail on the top of my head, was caught on a machine. The end result being that I was nearly scalped.
( I honestly am getting a bit tired of telling the story as the accident happened 21 years ago..but I think it's important for others to know. It's important for people who suffer PTSD to know you can still have a life)

Only last week, a very caring and lovely friend, suggested that perhaps being in therapy was not a good thing. That I needed to start looking forward instead of constantly looking back.
Oh how I wish that could be done!
What an amazing weight off my shoulders and most of all from my family.
Sadly PTSD just doesn't let you do that.. No matter how hard you try..





While I would sooner have lived my life without PTSD and all its crazy symptoms, at the same time, I just wonder where my life would have been had I not suffered the trauma.

It's a good thing and a healing thing if over time, positives can be found from any difficult time.

I took up quilting as a rehab program, which introduced me to crazy patch, where I saw some ceramic buttons at a craft show.
(I'm a potter by 'trade' as I studied for three years doing a 'Diploma in Art'- majoring in Ceramics.)
I thought if I could make a few buttons then perhaps I could swap them for fabric..
My gran knew how sick I was so leant me some money to get started.
I battled my illness and found purpose in making buttons.
I started out trading for fabric, then sold enough to buy Miranda a pair of shoes. ($10 was a big deal back then)
And for the last 15 years I've been a major source of income for the family.. For ten of those years, the buttons and patterns were the only income our family had..

I've made some great friends, I've learnt a lot, I've taught a lot.. But for me the most important part.. I survived and I'm grateful for a lot!





I know these photos were taken about three years ago.. But here are my four most important people in my life.. And why I do what I do.
Watching them being born (Michael was born after I started the buttons), seeing them grow into fabulous people, all who make me so proud to say they are my family. And for the love of my beautiful husband who has stuck with me through some very rough and some very fantastic times.

I've added this photo of Matt (pink glasses) and Mike, for me, this photo says a thousand words!





It will remain my absolute favourite until a better one comes along..

To you who read this blog, please listen closely..' THANKYOU!' My life would never have been able to follow this path, if you hadn't been a part of it. Friend or foe, customer or competitor. I am very grateful for all of those who are a part of my world and I mean that sincerely!
Nikki

Location:Brandy Gully Patchwork